I recently spoke to someone dear to me after they read my blog and what I heard was “no more sadness and complaining.”
I recently had a therapy session and all I could think of (though it had been on my mind for a while) was, “trash.” You would ask what I meant by “trash” and how it affects my life right? Well, have you ever had that one person or persons who you trusted and saw as your own person(s) and you just seem to be the one who keeps giving and giving through the relationship or friend ship? and they act so aloof to the fact that you are human and could care less what your story is or was? those, as well as those things which we let get to us are the “trash” I am referring to . Why such harsh words? you would ask..hmm I had to look at it that way to let go of a lot of things. The word “trash” could mean something different to each person and to me this, was it.
There is a song titled “what have you done for me lately?” I am not saying we should go into friendships or relationships with one selfish interest or the other in mind, because right there it would build what I call a “faulty foundation.” But friendships and relationships are meant for some kind of companionship or the other (even if it is sexual or not) and when one person keeps giving and giving and the other keeps taking and taking without a pause to even think about the person who is doing the giving, then “Houston you have a problem.” Yes there are some people who giving is their thing naturally, but these people need love too, they sometimes need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to and just because giving is their thing, they may not be able to ask you to be “there” for them, but as a human being with “five” intact “senses” you should be able to be the giver at these times by simply being sensitive and asking the right questions or just being there and helping them understand that “hey I have got your back.”
I realized through saying how I felt to my therapist that I have really been giving more than myself and I needed to toss the “dead weight” or like I said “trash.” I realized happiness is truly a choice. I can decide to keep these people or things in my life and remain in and out of sadness or I can make a choice of happiness by saying “no more.” “I come first.”
ha! I know the people who know me personally would say “but you’re a Christian na.” Yes I am and if you study the Bible you would see JESUS always took some time for HIMSELF before giving anymore of HIMSELF to anyone. I began to think about self care and the things I missed doing. I missed writing. I am old school and I used to write by hand. I used to draw sketches and for some reason I stopped. I stopped reading and I just began to stay unhappy and it nearly ate me alive. I have now began to let go of all my trash, yes you could have personal trash and it doesn’t always have to be a person.
You could be dragging around your own personal trash and weighing yourself down thinking everyone is your enemy. No, you may really have no enemies but “yourself” because you chose to listen to the evil people said/say about you, or how others have made you feel. Like I said to myself, “Until the one who wants to make me feel bad about myself has walked a block in my shoes, (as I feel a mile may be too much); then they can take their words and trash else where or carry it by themselves.”
“You are the author and finisher of your happiness.”~Nma.